The End, for now

So, I’m officially putting this old blog on permanent hiatus.

I don’t blog as much as I used to, at least not here. I have a family blog, a local sustainablility blog, and I’m currently developing a new healthy lifestyle blog with my dear friend Sixpence.

Between those, my job, my family, and the incoming wee girl… this has finally fallen by the wayside.

Maybe I’ll be back some day. Perhaps not. Until then, enjoy sifting through the last 6 or so years of my entries and the occasional entry by my friends. 700 worth.

Signing off!

Loricious

I hate waiting

I am, unfortunately, a victim of my own nefarious mind: I really want to get to the end of this pregnancy, not so much because I am miserable but rather due to the fact that I hate waiting.

This whole experience has given me yet another aspect of myself to examine and improve upon: I can’t exactly hurry up the baking in my own oven. 9 months is 9 months; it is the optimal bake time for the best results.

I used a bread machine for this very reason. I can handle very tedious work, paying attention to very minute details if need be. But the hurry up and waiting (like waiting for bread to rise) is next to impossible for me. Bread machine is perfect: toss in the ingredients and I get to distract myself for 3.5 whole hours before I need to pay attention to the bread again.

What do you do with 30 minutes? I’m sure all you go getters out there are all about: Do some jumping jacks! Walk a leisurely mile! Play with the dogs! Clean the bathroom!

All these are great for the Uber Mom, but this lady right here is flighty. That 30 minute walk? Turns into a 45 minute dawdle. That 30 minutes for the dogs? Turns into an opportunity to clean up the poop in the yard as well, stretching my outdoor time to a full hour.

What happens to the bread in the meantime? It blows up.

See, I’m just no good at waiting short periods of time. 3 hours yes, 30 minutes no. Which is why the glorious breadmaker is my lifesaver. It takes care of one task so I can wander off staring at shiny objects.

9 months? Call it proof in my pudding bowl: if could actually grasp that amount of time and turn a good chunk of it into productivity I wouldn’t have a problem with my weight. But time seems to elude me… Four months off of work? I gain 30 pounds and not even write a line of a novel.

So what to do with 9 months… but wait?

The Baby Center Community has a lot of checklists for the impending parent to plan. I checked off all the boxes on the first trimester (for the most part). What about the 2nd trimester?

Well, we are visiting our first daycare tonight. Update: Daycare visit was last night, as this post was written yesterday. Started the registries; will finalize when we actually have a gender to go on. Still need to clean out the nursery, start setting it up. But it doesn’t take three months to do any of it!

Alas, I’m left with abiding by my mother’s carefully chosen words: Tough. You have to wait.

Indeed, I do. Perhaps this is a good lesson for dear Loricious, a tutorial on my own control issues, impulsive tendencies, and on the virtue of patience. I have no choice but to wait.

But what a little cupcake awaits me at the end!

First Rule About Pregnancy Is

You don’t talk about being pregnant. At least not in Nigeria.

I have the exceptional pleasure of working with a native Nigerian at my job. Not only does she have the most wonderful accent and powerful laugh, Sally* also isn’t afraid of talking about her homeland and the traditions there.

Sally was born, raised, and highly educated in Nigeria. She married and moved with her husband (also a native Nigerian) to Germany where she was promptly slapped in the face with the great hand of culture shock.

You see, in Nigeria, it is considered extremely ill luck to talk about the unborn because until recently many of those unborn remained unborn – mortality rates were quite high in the not so distant past. People just end up realizing what is going on when the mom’s belly starts to grow and subsequently remain mum. And they never ever talk about it, not even when the mother is wretching up due to morning sickness or dog tired. If any comments are made, it is brushed off as, “Oh, she isn’t feeling well.”

So imagine Sally’s surprise when she walked into work one day in Germany with her co-worker waving a just-taken pregnancy test in the air, proclaiming her pregnancy and the following eight months of non-stop chatter about gender and nurseries and everything and anything baby related. She was stunned and horrified. Here, one of the greatest cultural taboos in her country was being completely turned on its head.

Sally wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

She eventually moved to Alaska and was less stunned at the American way of life, being broken in by the German way. Living in Western society now for about twenty years has dulled the shock value of women and men (and MEN? Men NEVER EVER reference anything baby related! Not even tangentally!) speaking freely, comfortably, and excitably about impending parenthood.

This was evident when she casually brought it up in the breakroom with me, regaling me with stories about how co-workers in Alaska tried to figure out how to broach a baby shower for her first child (she ended up being ok with it) and her still slight kneejerk reaction of “OMG why are you talking about this?”

I love it when people who aren’t native to the American way shares with me their experiences; I love hearing about stories and culture and food (Sally brought a goat stew to the chili cook-off contest at work – it was fantastic). My other co-worker from Turkey shares with us his history, how he found himself here in America with an American wife (he came to the U.S. for his doctorate and stayed for love. Aw!).

I hope I can teach our kids to appreciate the world, to hear these light-hearted stories with an open heart and child-like wonder, in the same way. And that if they ever find themselves in Nigeria to remember that first rule.

After all, when in Rome…!

*not her real name.

Resolution Revolution

Revolution: ever-turning wheel? Or vehicle for change?

Over the years, New Year’s resolutions have been an exercise in futility, just like giving something up for Lent. A virtue of mine? Passion! Flaw? Unless we are talking about my marriage, science fiction/fantasy media, or books, my passion bleeds out pretty fast into inaction.

What is a pregnant girl to do?

Goalz: I has dem
Basically, I want to use the next 7 months before Wee One comes to ready myself physically and mentally for the changes in my body, for the delivery, and the transition from the Me and Mr. H world to a world with a unified focus for us: Pip (this is what we call the wee one).

The goals are:
1. Reframe eating and food to help me understand that they are not good nor bad; food just is. It can be enjoyed, but only when I sit down and pay attention to it. I want to learn to consistently be mindful when eating. This is the first step of four in the Normal Eating process. While it is not an excuse to full on binge, it is prep work for eating when hungry. If I eat when I’m not hungry, at this step it is ok – I just must dedicate myself to be mindful.
2. Since step 1 is supposed to be a pretty quick, I expect to be working on step two, Reconnecting, before the baby is born. This step is taking the mindfulness another step forward. I need to start a log of what, when, and why I eat. Again, not focusing on only eating when hungry, but being mindful of the reasons behind why I eat when and where I do it, while objectively noting my hunger levels. This step can take months, so I’m not going to put a time limit on it. I will add step 3 when it feels right.
3. Once again, begin my meditation program from square 1, day 1, meditation 1. It is a two month program that I think will help with goals 1 and two. I’m looking to start it this very weekend. So my goal is to have it complete by early March.
4. Dedicate 30 minutes, 3 days a week to some activity. I’ve been sitting on prenatal workouts for over a month now and I truly have no excuse for not doing them. I’ve just been blatantly avoiding them, pretending they aren’t there. I really am not sure why and I hope to explore/discover some reasons during my meditations. But for now, I think I do need to dedicate at least that much. This will help for the delivery, as I’m planning on doing a squatting delivery (re: need leg muscles back).
5. Register or plan for some fitness event to train for after the baby is born, like mountain climbing or another sprint triathlon.

Execution
Well, I like this article from the folks over at Real Simple http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/inspiration-motivation/secrets-of-motivated-people-00000000026714/index.html?xid=checklistnewsletter-12-27-2010, so I’m going to parrot it and apply it to my own New Year’s resolutions.

1. When you make a plan, anticipate bumps.
My bumps tend to be a sudden lack of motivation/disinterest. A case of the Idon’twannas. Especially with #3 and #4, but that doesn’t really mean I won’t pull this stuff with #1 and #2. How will I fight this? I think that is a whole other post. Stay tuned for that mama.
2. Channel the little engine that could―really.
AKA: believe that you can and you will.
I always believe I can, at the beginning. Then the bumps roll in and I cave like a sinkhole.
3. Don’t let your goals run wild…
I really don’t think I’m overdoing it here. I’ve put pretty reasonable goals out there. Ok exercise ambitions, working on my mental aspect reasonably, and putting a goal of just to register for something. At first, I put a limit on it by saying “an event in October.” But what if I’m not ready by October? I may not be! So if it is in October, great. If not, that’s ok too. I’ll use my best judgment while not getting derailed by my bumps.
4. Go public with it.
Done!
5. Lean on a support crew when struggling.
The ladies over at Normal Eating should prove to be a great resource for the NE work I’m doing. Six and I email pretty regularly about our goals; in fact, the sprint tri and the mountain climbing will be for the both of us. I’m not sure what I’ll have in place for the meditation part. Six again? And, of course, Mr. H.
6. Make yourself a priority.
This one is hard. I often use Mr. H as excuses. Oh, he wants pizza so we’ll have pizza and I’ll just have one more piece.. maybe two… Or, OH! he wants to eat in front of the TV, I suppose I could… mow mow mow. Where did dinner go? OR, he won’t exercise with me so I’m not going to go. Lame? YES. A reality I must fight? Yes. I need to make myself a priority and not use the excuse of giving Mr. H what he wants to avoid doing what is best for me.
7. Challenge yourself―and change things up.
Luckily, my goals are pretty broken down into manageable chunks I think. No need to change things up, for the original list is pretty varied already.
8. Keep on learning.
It’s my favorite thing to do, so I think I have this one down too. I just need to focus.
9. Remember the deeper meaning.
This is the big one: the whole point of this is for Pip. I don’t want to pass on my mental flaws onto my children. I want them to enjoy food but not obsess over it. I want them to see exercise as fun activities instead of hard work. I want them to be healthy and fit people. This is the deeper meaning. I also want to be around for a long long time and not be taken out by something I could have prevented if I could have only just gotten a grip on my compulsions.

I’ll try to figure out a way to keep y’all posted about the goals. A ticker maybe? A calendar with dates? Days of meditation? We’ll see.

Blog invaders, update!

So I wrote this…December 27th. But that was the day that some invader thought it’d be funny to remove my login. Which actually is funny but also annoying. So enjoy, for my next couple of entries were written last week!

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Incoming Ultrasound!
Tomorrow, we have our second ultrasound as well as a tour of the birthing center if I remember to make that appointment over lunch.

Updates:
Feeling – physically: alright. Still tired. Getting used to eating more often to fend off the nausea.
Looking: Heavier and pimply. It hasn’t gotten to me in the way of “Omg, I’m so ugly and fat.” It’s more like, “Ugh. I have zits everywhere and I can’t do anything about it.” And the fat? It’s just the way it is. I’m still doing pretty good with eating well most of the time. I’m still 100% off any naughties like caffeine, booze, unpasteurized stuff, listeria-ridden foods.
Feeling – mentally: exhausted. Baby is always on my mind. Food is always on my mind. Sleep and dreaming is always on my mind. Yet, some nights I simply cannot sleep. The last couple of nights have been better.

That leads me to: allergies.

Sneezing.
Ugh. Until this weekend, I hadn’t taken a single allergy med since October. I know it isn’t supposed to hurt the baby, but unless I felt it was really necessary I was going to martyr myself to the allergen gods.

Until this weekend.

The sheets needed to be washed. I woke up at 1am sneezing and sneezing some more. And in the previous nights I would wake up multiple times in the night with a drippy nose and a need to sneeze. The night before we changed the sheets, I broke down and took a Benadryl. I stopped sneezing and my nose stopped dripping and I slept for another 6 or 7 hours.

That day we changed the sheets.

2 days later, I’m back to sneezing in the nighttime. 3:30am this time. Had the Benadryl at my bedside, so I popped one with a couple handfuls of water and went back to bed with Kleenex stuck up my nose. I really don’t want to change the sheets every other day, but on the other hand I’m really not sure what to do. Vacuum daily? Deep wash my pillows?

I also don’t want to keep taking pills and if it weren’t keeping me up at night I wouldn’t be complaining. I’m at the end of my first trimester and I’ve taken 2 pills total. I mean, I sneeze all day at work. Which is fine – I don’t need to take a pill for that. But my sleep…. good lord I’m tired of waking up so often in the night for my nose.

Christmas!
Finally – something I won’t complain about! It was wonderful. Mr. H and I had a very quiet, peaceful time together. We didn’t get out of our jammies for most of the weekend, which is always fun. I read a book all day on Saturday, watched a newtome TV show on Netflix, helped Mr. H fix the dog kennel, did some laundry, bought some pants for us, and ate my favorite holiday treat: stollen. I could live on the stuff, I swear. :)

Baby Dreams = Bizarre

The first dream I had was when my parents came to town two weeks ago. We had spent the evening chatting about labor pain, so I shouldn’t be surprised that I dreamt that I was in labor with a child that had spikes on its heels and a spring on its head, in utero. Because of course the spring is so the baby bounces whilst upside down in my belly. Of course. And the spikes seem to be another manifestation of what I think the pain will be like… It was odd: I was delivering in the kitchen of my childhood home and every time a contraction would hit I would go weightless, like gravity got turned off. So contractions were more like WHEEEE! than ouchie. Actually, now that I think on it, despite the spikes, that was a pretty cool dream, being all floaty.

The second dream I had was when my MIL was in town this weekend. Very basic: ultrasound revealed that our child was going to be a boy. He was all spread eagled for us.

Then I had another strange baby dream last night, that we had fraternal twins. A little girl and boy. The boy we named what we have decided in real life, but the girl we were having trouble with. So in the end we just ended up calling her Rosebud until we could think of a better name. I think they also kept morphing from kittens to babies, because when I was trying to nurse, they turned into kittens with sharp teeth. I suppose it’s fair to say that I’m a little freaked out about the nursing pain, with my cousin likening it to being gnawed on by sandpaper. *wince*

I remember very distinctly looking down at my babies/kittens, with one already latched on, and I was watching the other wee kitten open its mouth, full sharp teeth, but then it latched on alright. No pain. This dream was a lot more involved, too with cribs and mattresses and an entire cast of characters… but I don’t remember much. I do remember saying, “SEE? I told you the other one was hiding behind the baby. Wow, what are we supposed to do now?” But said in a way that totally was 100% excited for this adventure.

So: so far, the dreams have been fun and weird, and I hope to continue having them occasionally. Even if it involves nursing kittens.

What It Feels Like To Be Pregnant At 10+ weeks

Actually, I’m now offically at 11 weeks. Next week is the 12 week ultrasound, and me officially being in my 2nd trimester.

Anyway, for me symptom-wise, relative to all the stories I’ve read and heard, I have it pretty easy.

Being pregnant at 5 weeks felt like I had the flu.
Being pregnant at 6 and 7 weeks felt like I was dying of thirst and occasionally of hunger.
Being pregnant at 8 weeks felt like I got hit with the exhausted/nausea brick.

And since then I’ve had a combination of all the above. Some days I’m exhausted. Some days I could eat the world. Some days I can’t stand the smell of cooking hamburger. Some days I’m ready to go at the beginning of the day. Most days I crave my bed by 8 pm. Some of the days around Thanksgiving I walked in the door at 6 pm from work and wanted to crawl into bed by 6:30.

What does it feel like, physically, as like inside? Can’t feel a thing. Sure the pants are getting tighter. I feel hunger and nausea and thirst. I have the occasional headache. But it really doesn’t feel any different… if that makes any sense. I’m not growing a definitive belly and I cannot feel the Wee One move around yet. My ladies are a bit tender, but … again, nothing really earthshatteringly different.

I’m positive Wee One is there because we saw it on the 30th of November for our first ultrasound (yes, I cried. Mr. H may or may not have shed a tear). We heard WO’s little heart beat thrumming along at 175 bpm.

But do I feel different?

No. It just feels like I’m not feeling all that well.

Honest truth. It’s actually sort of disconcerting if I let my mind wander that way. A life is growing inside of me that is not comprised of the microbes that keep my gut functioning but a real human being. A whole new independent life is growing in my midsection and if I was absolutely clueless about reproduction, about missing periods, I wouldn’t know any better.

I’m glad I do. I would have had sushi for my birthday. Instead I had turkey on the day and awesome Mexican the next (yay for having birthdays on holidays! Two for the price of one!).

Oatmeal: underrated, undeservedly feared

Really. I look everywhere online with healthy lifestyle bloggers and there seems to be a general concensus: oatmeal rules.

Prior to obsessively reading some of these blogs, I turned up my nose. Because, seriously, oatmeal? What’s to rave about?

Then I realized that it is a vehicle for flavor. Kinda like chicken.

And oatmeal, in my “special condition”, is perfect. It is nutritious and I don’t want to barf it up. Both key points to a good breakfast.

I recommend these sites to educate yourself further on the Art of Oatmeal, for each idea that I’ve come up with in terms of oatmeal has come from one of these sites.

1. Runeatrepeat.com
2. eatliverun.com
3. katheats.com
4. Heathereatsalmondbutter.com

Plus, I’m sure, many many more. And at least with those blogs, they include plenty of pretty pictures for your visual delight.

I have to admit: what I’ve wanted over the last couple of weeks have been egg sandwiches. 1 egg + 1 slice of cheese + some sort of carb vehicle, like a bagel, toast, or english muffin. While I think eggs and cheese (<--- in moderation) are fine, I really wasn't feeling all that great about mowing down on Sara Lee, which is really just a bread product and not really bread. I tried to make my own bread in my bread machine, but I really messed that one up and had to toss it. I intend to try again, but in the meantime with guests flying in and out and trying to keep the house habitable and blah blah blah... I haven't found the time.

Where was I going with this, prior to the excuse tangent?

Ah yes. Oatmeal.

Although I've *wanted* my egg sandwiches, I've made a concentrated effort this week to have oatmeal instead. Why? Fiber. I even toss in a teaspoon or tablespoon of chia seeds for added fiber.

What Kind To Use

I use the quick cooking oats*, and I’ll tell you why. First, I hate waiting. Second, when I do decide to wait for my long cooking oats/steelcut oats to cook, I burn them every single time. And then I just get annoyed. And I tried them in the slow cooker too which was fine on the first day. But like soup, leftover oatmeal just isn’t as good. It doesn’t better with age like pasta and pizza. But if you look at the stats on the side of quick cooking plain oats, the nutrition is still there packing a nice fiber punch and a big volume bang for your calorie buck. All for between 1 and 3 minutes versus the 45 minutes for steelcut oats.

*Side note, I even tried “raw” oatmeal, where you soak them overnight in the fridge. Cold oats, but with the additions it was ok. Palatable. However, I seem to add too much liquid and it always came out soupy. Plus, I really don’t like cold breakfasts often even in the summer unless we are talking smoothies. On the whole, I’m a warm breakfast chick.

What To Add To Plain Ol’ Oatmeal?

For protein and fat, at least one of the following:
1. An egg. This may sound odd, but when you mix the liquid and oatmeal and add an egg and nuke it for 1 minute to 3 minutes, the egg thoroughly cooks and you get a custardy breakfast. Good stuff.
2. Substitute milk for water. Takes longer to nuke, but the end result is pretty creamy.
3. A dollop of almond butter.

Other possible additions:
1. Banana <---world's best natural sweetener. A must for smoothies as well.
2. Pumpkin pie spice, or a variety of other individual ones (like cinnamon!)
3. Salt (a sprinkle keeps the bowl from overflowing)
4. A sweetener if I don't use a banana, like huckleberry syrup
5. Pumpkin puree
6. Pomegranate seeds
7. Buttah. Because everything is better with buttah.

On Apples:
I don’t particularly like chopped apples in my oatmeal because they become bland without improving the flavor of the oatmeal and turn sort of rubbery.

Why Oatmeal, Why Now?
Now why would I go through the trouble to sell this kind of breakfast? Because it really isn’t just for health nuts and pregnant girls who are trying to be healthier. Before the discovery of adding protein, I had a problem with oatmeal because by itself it isn’t really filling in the long term. But if we take the whole “part of a nutritious breakfast” part of those cereal commercials, we realize that oatmeal is a great team player. I think that on HEAB is where I read that you can treat oatmeal like cookie batter – she adds unsweetened coconut and chocolate chips to hers (love this idea!). You can treat it like pancakes. You can treat it like toast.

So why? Cuz it really does taste good, especially when you doll it up. And you can’t get a better breakfast. Plain oatmeal is just rolled oats. That’s it. No ingredients you can’t pronounce. No preservatives. Just a grain in a cylindrical box. What you add to it is up to you, but as you can see fro my list only the syrup is the most processed/least natural of my choices of addition… and it feels like I should be guilty because it does taste soooo good and it is a really big bowl of goodness.

Try it. You may surprise yourself. For me, I almost forget about egg sandwiches.

Rumors About Pregnancy

Rumor: Morning sickness exists and it sucks.
Reality: Yes. It does. Exist and suck. I have had it on and off again since Thanksgiving. Guess what is a cure for it? Eating. *sigh*

Rumor: You will have weird cravings and want to stuff your face all the time.
Reality: I’ve craved only cinnamon, and not for long. My “cravings”, as discussed in the previous post, are less due to the Wee One and more to the freaking out that I’m carrying a life that is not mine in my belly (IN MY BELLY!). Or, better, put: I eat to cope with the stress of being pregnant.

Rumor: You will have an adorable belly.
Reality: Not if you start out as fat as I am. I’m pudgy enough to have a sort of double belly, a top and a bottom bun. The baby fills out the top. Which leaves the bottom belly as a sort of waddle for your rounded belly. Not really adorable.

Rumor: You will be exhausted.
Reality: Just like the morning sickness, this comes and goes. I do feel that I’ve been pummelled by a brick some days and all I want to do is sleep. But the issue right now is being so tired that I can’t sleep so I stay up listening to Dog and Pup have puppy dreams. Or them snoring. Or Cat meowing at me to stop moving around in bed.

Rumor: You will have this glorious pregnancy glow.
Reality: OR in my case you will regress to puberty and break out horrifically. And you can’t treat it because the chemicals migrate to Wee One, so you are sort of stuck with it. Here’s hoping none of you have to deal with that.

Rumor: This will change your life.
Reality: Yep. In my case, a great way. Despite the bad sides of being in my first trimester, I’m more excited than scared about our impending family member. I mean, I created life with Mr. H! LIFE! Doesn’t that blow anyone else’s mind? I’ve seen my friends and family have babies (not in person, granted) and I’ve never felt truly connected to their experience because it was such a foreign thing… something so unrelatable.

People do this every day, often not purposefully, and in fact human beings are built to do this…heck every lifeform is built to reproduce. And yet I remain amazed.

Perhaps that is why we have a long gestation period… so we can get used to the idea that we have created life. Closest thing to God, the way I see it at the moment. Huh!

Pleasantly Pregnant

Good morning!

So… I got myself knocked up. On purpose. With Mr. H.

I haven’t been posting for a while for this simple fact: I’m pregnant! EEEEE!

That was an emotionally jam-packed EEEEE, complete with excitement, anxiety, nervousness, happiness, anticip……….ation.

So this page will change one more time to accommodate another phase in Loricious’s life: The Era of the Unborn. Sorta sounds like a scary thriller movie, but if you are anything like me with a wicked imagination that allows for aliens and such… well, somedays it is like that.

The main topic will be shifted away from dieting, because I am under strict orders NOT to diet. I’m also not supposed to gain a crap ton of weight.

Tell me: how in the world does a woman who has never learned to cope with life without dieting or binging neither diet nor binge for 7 months?

This is my story. This is my journey of forced hiatus from a lifestyle of “watching my weight.” Cuz I can’t anymore.

The Story
I had already gained back about 7 pounds since August 14th this year when I discovered on November 1st that I was pregnant. Although I haven’t weighed myself in about a week, on November 30th I was up 10 pounds. I think I may be up another 5. I’m not sure – I’m afraid of the scale at the moment.

The Reality
I’m lost, but I’ve got a compass that I’m learning how to use. I’m trying to focus on two things: this is the craziest AND best thing that Mr. H and I have ever done, and that no matter how much I gain I will lose it again. And take this as an opportunity to practice normal, intuitive eating. As anyone who has tried this method, it doesn’t solve anything overnight so it may take awhile for things to click for me. Perhaps even beyond the birth of our Wee One.

About Having An Opinion
Now I’ve already been lectured by well meaning people to watch it. Usually these well meaning people have no idea what I’m going through psychologically. Yes. I know how to eat well, I know how to exercise. But getting pregnant isn’t a magical panacea for curing obesity. It doesn’t solve all the issues that I have with food, with eating. If anything, it has exacerbated the issue for the last 1.5 months because I’ve never been not expected to diet. And how does Loricious deal with stress? I eat. Luckily, ALL of my friends, the ones I know in real life, have been nothing short of awesome, because they know me and if they do off handedly mention about “hey, Loricious…. just be careful” I know where they are coming from and I never take offense. They’ve seen me succeed and fail at this so many times that the vets know how to handle me. So, my friends: keep those opinions coming. Strangers: forgive me if I nip back at any criticism.

What I’m Doing Right
Good thing is, I have found it really easy to cut out the obvious naughties, like alcohol, caffeine, soft cheeses, sushi, deli meats, etc.

What Is Working Against Me
I haven’t liked to eat veggies or fruit for about a month now. And I crave carbs. Like honest to goodness cravings. I also have unbelievable cravings for what seems to be my two ultimate comfort foods: fettuccini alfredo and pizza. Mind you, these aren’t pregnancy cravings, but holy-crap-I’m-pregnant-and-I-can’t-deal-with-it-yet-so-let-me-fall-into-a-food-coma kind of cravings. Therefore they have been banned from the house and I only have pizza with Mr. H at a restaurant where we share said pizza and there is only enough for me and him and no leftovers.

What Is Surprising Me
This is giving me the perfect opportunity to practice normal eating, especially since I have a much greater sense of hunger now.

What I Need To Work On
1. Getting active.
2. Weaning myself off of the simple carbs and replacing with whole, healthy ones.
3. Replace my eating coping mechanism with something else, perhaps meditation?

Today’s Meals So Far
Breakfast: a bowl of plain oatmeal with chia seeds, a T of almond butter, 1 banana, and a drizzle of huckleberry syrup. Sorta tasted like a PB&J sandwich in a bowl.
At Work: Cup of apple cider.

Planned: An orange, pear, apple, another banana, 1 potato with some salt, 1 sweet potato with a T of almond butter. Frozen grapes. <—-See? Trying to eat healthfully. I just need to resist the lure of the cafeteria… where I may get a salad…but then I could get something so much more evil…
Dinner: Probably leftover home made baked chicken chimichangas.

My mother-in-law is due in tomorrow afternoon. I hope to go for some walks if the weather allows it. I hope to continue working on my mindful eating, but not beat myself up for having a bagel.

I also hope to continue posting on this blog, because I think being plus-sized and pregnant can be tough in this world. From what I’ve read, it seems that people just assume you are getting fatter, not carrying a baby. I have found only forums for support and not a single blog about how a fat girl deals with being pregnant.

Well, here is one. Hope you enjoy!