So… I got myself knocked up. On purpose. With Mr. H.
I haven’t been posting for a while for this simple fact: I’m pregnant! EEEEE!
That was an emotionally jam-packed EEEEE, complete with excitement, anxiety, nervousness, happiness, anticip……….ation.
So this page will change one more time to accommodate another phase in Loricious’s life: The Era of the Unborn. Sorta sounds like a scary thriller movie, but if you are anything like me with a wicked imagination that allows for aliens and such… well, somedays it is like that.
The main topic will be shifted away from dieting, because I am under strict orders NOT to diet. I’m also not supposed to gain a crap ton of weight.
Tell me: how in the world does a woman who has never learned to cope with life without dieting or binging neither diet nor binge for 7 months?
This is my story. This is my journey of forced hiatus from a lifestyle of “watching my weight.” Cuz I can’t anymore.
I had already gained back about 7 pounds since August 14th this year when I discovered on November 1st that I was pregnant. Although I haven’t weighed myself in about a week, on November 30th I was up 10 pounds. I think I may be up another 5. I’m not sure – I’m afraid of the scale at the moment.
I’m lost, but I’ve got a compass that I’m learning how to use. I’m trying to focus on two things: this is the craziest AND best thing that Mr. H and I have ever done, and that no matter how much I gain I will lose it again. And take this as an opportunity to practice normal, intuitive eating. As anyone who has tried this method, it doesn’t solve anything overnight so it may take awhile for things to click for me. Perhaps even beyond the birth of our Wee One.
About Having An Opinion
Now I’ve already been lectured by well meaning people to watch it. Usually these well meaning people have no idea what I’m going through psychologically. Yes. I know how to eat well, I know how to exercise. But getting pregnant isn’t a magical panacea for curing obesity. It doesn’t solve all the issues that I have with food, with eating. If anything, it has exacerbated the issue for the last 1.5 months because I’ve never been not expected to diet. And how does Loricious deal with stress? I eat. Luckily, ALL of my friends, the ones I know in real life, have been nothing short of awesome, because they know me and if they do off handedly mention about “hey, Loricious…. just be careful” I know where they are coming from and I never take offense. They’ve seen me succeed and fail at this so many times that the vets know how to handle me. So, my friends: keep those opinions coming. Strangers: forgive me if I nip back at any criticism.
What I’m Doing Right
Good thing is, I have found it really easy to cut out the obvious naughties, like alcohol, caffeine, soft cheeses, sushi, deli meats, etc.
What Is Working Against Me
I haven’t liked to eat veggies or fruit for about a month now. And I crave carbs. Like honest to goodness cravings. I also have unbelievable cravings for what seems to be my two ultimate comfort foods: fettuccini alfredo and pizza. Mind you, these aren’t pregnancy cravings, but holy-crap-I’m-pregnant-and-I-can’t-deal-with-it-yet-so-let-me-fall-into-a-food-coma kind of cravings. Therefore they have been banned from the house and I only have pizza with Mr. H at a restaurant where we share said pizza and there is only enough for me and him and no leftovers.
What Is Surprising Me
This is giving me the perfect opportunity to practice normal eating, especially since I have a much greater sense of hunger now.
What I Need To Work On
1. Getting active.
2. Weaning myself off of the simple carbs and replacing with whole, healthy ones.
3. Replace my eating coping mechanism with something else, perhaps meditation?
Today’s Meals So Far
Breakfast: a bowl of plain oatmeal with chia seeds, a T of almond butter, 1 banana, and a drizzle of huckleberry syrup. Sorta tasted like a PB&J sandwich in a bowl.
At Work: Cup of apple cider.
Planned: An orange, pear, apple, another banana, 1 potato with some salt, 1 sweet potato with a T of almond butter. Frozen grapes. <—-See? Trying to eat healthfully. I just need to resist the lure of the cafeteria… where I may get a salad…but then I could get something so much more evil…
Dinner: Probably leftover home made baked chicken chimichangas.
My mother-in-law is due in tomorrow afternoon. I hope to go for some walks if the weather allows it. I hope to continue working on my mindful eating, but not beat myself up for having a bagel.
I also hope to continue posting on this blog, because I think being plus-sized and pregnant can be tough in this world. From what I’ve read, it seems that people just assume you are getting fatter, not carrying a baby. I have found only forums for support and not a single blog about how a fat girl deals with being pregnant.
Well, here is one. Hope you enjoy!